Cafe Germany
by IllicitFaction
Summary: Crackfic based off of the clip "Cafe Germany". An unsuspecting college student enter's a German cafe whilst taking a break. There, he meets a blonde-haired man, and that's when things get interesting for the two unlikely males. Oneshot.


**Crackfic based off of the Hetalia clip "Cafe Germany". Inspired by bathtub-hetalia's Tumblr post about it.**

**I'm sorry. But not really.**

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The brunet man stood from the wooden table, prepared to take his leave, when a gloved hand was abruptly placed on his shoulder. He looked up, nervously, to the cafe owner with the green cap placed securely over his sleek golden hair. As he waited for the German man's scolding words to pour threateningly from his mouth, his innocent, dark chocolate eyes caught on something. The young man noticed that the unusual military-style jacket, unbefitting to a simple restaurant owner, was draped somewhat loosely over toned biceps, the handsome muscles built from years of work on a presumably rigorous and exerting exercise routine. He began to compile an image in his mind of how the uptight and stoic man would appear performing said exercise routine, arms fully exposed while they performed their daily motions, working their way up and down as they strained themselves vigorously on the bench press. He pictured the sweat, dripping off of his perfectly sculpted forehead and rolling off in beads from the rest of his exposed, flushed skin.

The man, feeling silly for having such thoughts about a waiter he met just minutes ago, brushed off the chaste speculations forming in his head. What was he thinking? It must've been the Bavarian bean and cheese soup he had just eaten that was getting to him. The Bavarian bean and cheese soup that the cerulean eyed beauty had labored over, simmering it to perfection, finally garnishing with the fine ingredients that he had stocked his quaint shop with. But, of course, it was no surprise that his café's ingredients were of the finest to choose from. After all, _everything_ in it was _fine_, and when the hazel-haired customer meant fine, he meant a downright sexy frame, personality complete with characteristics of a driving will, commanding personality, and a way of saying things that could turn any submissive man like himself into a complete-

He mentally snapped himself out of the ridiculous reverie, almost missing the words that flowed like fresh honey out of the German's mouth, washing over him a total sense of euphoria as the man's lustuous undertone spoke to him. To him, it sounded almost as if the words were coming from a angel sent to him by a heavenly spirit.

"Our time together has been…very special." he purred, the formal and cold persona he had constructed earlier crumbling before his very eyes. The college student, who had thought at first glance that this restaurant would be a nice place to take a break, was near the edge of his limit. His mind, which had been formerly crammed with information essential to passing his physiology exam (which, mind him, was coming up in approximately an hour and a half), was swimming with a feeling you could only receive when you were in the ultimate utopia. He could barely find the command to breathe as the tenacious man ever so slightly angled his head to the side; his intimidating orbs gazed longingly upon his pale features.

Not breaking the eye contact, he uttered sensually, "Be sure to lock your doors at night." The student's heavy breaths became apparent as his eyes widened in astonishment. What did that mean? Was breaking and entering a sadistic pleasure of his? A door fetish, maybe? If it was, he knew he would have no problem complying. His roommate would probably have mixed feelings about a divine being such as him smashing down their door, but they could find a way to work around that minor detail.

He managed to stutter out a reply. "N-no problem." he whispered breathlessly, observing the German's face for any indication of parting.

Finally, he cleared his throat. "I'm sure you have places, to be, as do I." Neither moved from their spot, not wanting to make the first move.

"Yeah." He blushed, if that was possible, as his face was already as red a beet. Sheepishly scratching the nape of his neck, he informed him, "I should be getting back to my school work." Not knowing where to go from there in the conversation, he turned around and took a tentative step forward, the warm and soothing hand slipping off of his shoulder.

"Wait." The words powerfully escaped the mouth of the taller man, and the student halted. "I never specified what time I had to leave." He yelped as a pair of hands vehemently grabbed his mid-section, pulling him back a few steps as he stumbled over the sleek wooden floor.

He glanced over his shoulder to the small closet he assumed the man was currently dragging him to, and his small smile formed into a lewd grin. _Screw physiology_, he mused,_ I'm getting fucked by a sex god in a storage closet. Best way to lose your virginity. **E**_**_ver__._**


End file.
